The 26th We used to have this big wooden box that was more crate-like than a box actually. I think it was probably pretty old and it was covered (perhaps even lined with) wallpaper. I remember my parents still had it in the garage of where they live now but I don't know if it's still there or not. I do remember they had it for a long time though because my friends and I used to play in it when I was just a little kid. One time we had it out in the front yard and for some reason we also had a bunch of bullrushes. I was in the box and it was shut on top of me and I think my friends were sitting on top of it so I couldn't get out. Normally this wouldn't be so bad except in the box with me was the remains of the ends of the bullrushes. There was a thick, smothering, fluffy cloud of the pulverized bullrushes filling the box and I couldn't breathe. It was pretty scary and my choked screaming must have got my mother out of the house to save me from having my lungs filled with with a cottony mess. Suffocation by fluff. I think one of the only other claustrophobic moments I can remember was being locked in the trunk of Steve's car with Travis and he farted the way only he could. I almost passed out. It wasn't cool. The 25th I was thoroughly unimpressed with the quality of my breakfast today, and apparently so was pretty much everyone else I was with. I don't know who was cooking, maybe it was someone new, but my eggs were bland, the bacon undercooked and my hash browns were nowhere close to being cooked the way I asked for them. It was a real let down and a crappy way to start off a Saturday. But Jill and Crystal were at the table and Crystal brought Brandon who was pretty funny the whole time. He sort of laughs like Spanky from The Little Rascals. He drools a lot too and doesn't like wearing hats. Laine invited a bunch of us to a pot luck at her place tonight and all of the food was awesome. I ate way too much, as usual, but I don't really care because it was worth it. I made sweet and sour meatballs and they were actually good. I surprised myself. Tonight was all about the pineapple too. There was pineapple in with the meatballs, Shawn and Bryanna had pineapple on their pizza, and Sharon made a super delicious pineapple cake. I'm glad Tyler and Melissa didn't put pineapple in the roasted garlic potatoes because, frankly, that would be gross and they were great the way they were. Although, a slice of pineapple on Melissa's puff pastries would have been good too but strawberries were a nice break from pineapple. We all played Scattergories for a while and then just sat around while some drank and others lazed about. Lots of photos were taken and I'm sure there will be some very flattering ones of me surfacing in the near future. But I did get to play with Laine's camera and all of the cool lenses, and now I really, really want to get a nice camera. I'm drinking pineapple juice and it's hurting my teeth. The 24th My eyes are killing me. I guess it must be that I'm doing more work and stuff sitting here in front of my Mac all day and night. I need to buy eye drops in bulk. Shawn and Bryanna got here today for a visit so I joined them, Sharon and Laine for the mandatory China Star dinner to celebrate Shawn's return to his hometown. I only ate some egg rolls though and ended up getting some old pizza slices at Sobey's later on. They weren't very good at all, mostly because of the onions. I have the worst pizza burps ever now. Oniony pizza burps and dehydrated eye balls…I'm going to bed. The 23rd I've gone through the video tape from karaoke night and felt it was necessary to post some of this stuff for mild entertainment value. Here's the cast of characters: The Weirdo Here's a video of The Weirdo "singing" R–O–C–K in the U.S.A. He also has this weird dancing style with big fitful highs and odd moments of defeat or depression. Here's a clip of him dancing (check out the coked-up karaoke guy near the end). This clip is of him standing around looking like he's very upset or contemplating someone's murder. This is The Weirdo doing the "hop" and he has the most hilarious reaction at the end. The Man in White Far be it from me to comment on the sophistication of someone's attire but I'm pretty sure this guy thinks he's pretty stylin' when he is most obviously not. Let's examine shall we? 1) A white dress shirt, 2) WHITE dress pants, and 3) a white turtleneck. What do you get when you wear all of these together? You get made fun of, that's what. NASCAR Man Again, I'm no Mr. Blackwell in my khakis and hoodie but this guy seriously is the bane of any fashion-conscious person out there. Let us take a moment to reflect on his wardrobe choice. 1) A hideously loud, leather NASCAR jacket, 2) a very unflattering LEATHER NASCAR ball cap, and 3) well, the mustache. I bet this guy knows exactly what a manifiold is and how to make one himself. The Energizer Bunny I'm guessing the name refers to her endless amounts of energy. You can see in this clip how she can really cut up the dance floor with her smooth moves and Mom pants. I feel kind of bad because she's a nice lady but holy mother of gawd she CAN'T sing! She's trying in this clip but, as you'll hear, she's got a built in "baaa" sheep vibrato thing going on. And how about that sense of timing? Precisely the reason that I don't like karaoke. The 22nd I used to read Choose Your Own Adventure books from time to time. I always thought it was interesting how the reader was able to create a customized story by making their way through all of the options and scenarios as they choose. I remember a certain series that used dice too and added another level of randomness and switching storylines. I even tried to write my own sci-fi CYOA story once but I wasn't smart enough to figure it all out. I think it would be great though if the same thing could be done with movies somehow. I'm sure it could be done relatively easily for a film on DVD where the viewer uses their remote control to select how the film progresses but to translate that into a theatre experience would be super cool. Technology could somehow be put in place that would allow theatre-goers to select a movie's outcome using a remote control from their seat. It would actually sort of be like how the audience on America's Funniest Videos selects the winning clip. Though, if you ask me, I think it's just a scam because some Disney/ABC stooge probably picks them beforehand. In any case, the movie would pause and the audience would be prompted to vote by an icon on the screen or even by simply having their remotes illuminate. Perhaps the scene could linger and not necessarily pause because I think that might bring people too out of the movie. A character, for instance, could sit or wait in some creative way so that everything appears more seamless. But then again, the whole thing is a novelty really so this action to vote is to be expected anyway. The system would be democratic and all votes are then very quickly tabulated. Voting times would be very short and then the scene progresses based upon the majority of the audience votes. It would create a whole new experience in the world of movies. Just think of how something like this just might be the way to get people back into the theatres and increase ticket sales. I'm sure if William Castle were alive today he'd be all over this gimmick. It could potentially generate more income than if the film were produced in a more traditional manner because of the interest in repeat viewing to see what the other outcomes might be. It could also be used in a more industry-based level for movie producers to figure out the best way to release a film. Audience feedback could help shape the movie's story so that studios can tailor it for release. Of course, they could just survey screening viewers afterwards and get the same results. I'm sure this wouldn't do much in terms of keeping the actual cost of ticket prices down. The money for the system has to come from somewhere. Perhaps this whole Vote-an-Ending movie scheme is already in existence and I just don't know about it. But just in case…um, this idea is the copyright of Ryan Hutchinson (© 2006). All rights reserved. The 21st I made a stupid little Flash animation tonight all about what Bruce Frisko likes. Click here if you want to watch it and make sure your sound is up for the lovely, jaunty classical music selection. I just thought it would be funny to show Frisko alongside a video presentation of the things he likes that rhyme with his last name. And if you look closely, his hair looks like his last name. I don't like honey crisp apples. Well, I don't like the honey crisp apple that's been sitting in my fridge for the last little while. Maybe a fresh one would be good but I just think they have a funny taste. I do like eating sliced apples though with slices of cheese. I remember my dad telling me once that he used to eat apple pie with melted cheddar cheese on top of it. I thought that sounded like the most disgusting thing ever but now I'd like to try it. My grandparents used to buy this cheddar cheese that was like some no name, light variety and for some reason I thought it was the best cheese ever. It was kind of rubbery and very mild. I've been buying it lately but the stuff I'm eating now is getting old so it has lost most of its rubberiness (even though I doubt that's a word, it IS what the cheese has lost). I dropped off a resumé at the CD store tonight hoping that I can maybe get a bit of part-time work there. I'm thinking I should have put a cover letter on it but, then again, I don't really care. I still want to have quite a bit of my week left open to freelance but it would be good to have some kind of work that gets me out of the damn house. The 20th I finished watching The Office DVDs and I'm upset that it's over after only 2 short seasons. There were some hilarious extras though and I do still need to see The Office Special so that's something to look forward too. Lately I've been going through old tapes full of shows I used to watch like Millennium and various cartoons. I think I've just added upwards of 30 cassettes to a pile I can tape over, mostly cartoons like Rocko's Modern Life, Freakazoid, The Mighty Hercules, Gargoyles and The Simpsons. Some of these cartoons do not live up to what I thought they were but I still think Freakazoid was one of the best cartoons from the last 15 years. The Mighty Hercules will always be a classic and I've already transferred all the episodes I have and the Freakazoid episodes over to tapes of their own. Simpsons is available on DVD so there's no need to keep those on VHS because they just take up way too much room and I hate tapes. I just wish DVD box sets would come out for Freakazoid and Hercules but I'm not holding my breath. One thing that has always appealed to me for some reason or another is a uniform character wardrobe. I've found this mostly happens in cartoons but I did see it once on Matlock. I'm not talking about uniforms, I mean a character's wardrobe being strictly uniform such as Homer's white shirt and blue pants, Inspector Gadget's hat and trench coat, and Matlock's grey suits. Sometimes in shows they will go into a character's closet and you'll see a row of the same outfit on hangers with absolutely no variety. For some reason this has always stuck with me. I noticed it the other night in an episode of Rocko's Modern Life when it showed his closet lined with just blue shirts covered in purple triangles. He wears the same shirt everyday. Matlock insisted on having a stockpile of grey suits for his court room appearances. I'm sure the Smurfs must have been sick of the white hats and pants. Papa Smurf was definitely the stylish one with the red outfit. Maybe this is why 90% of my shirts are navy blue. Perhaps this phenomenon and my excessive TV watching as a kid have truly affected me in an adverse way, poorly influencing what little fashion sense I do have. The 19th I've been watching the BBC version of The Office lately and I can't get over how painfully funny that show is. David Brent is the smallest, most pathetic person I've ever seen. Just when I thought his awkwardness became almost routine, season two comes uncomfortably screeching along and completely outdoes any inappropriateness from season one. I only wish there were more than 6 episodes every season, though I still need to finish up the set and get the Xmas special. Neil finished his movie last week and I have to say it is a really good effort, and it's so messed up and weird. He did a great job with some of the editing choices and it was well-paced because it didn't feel like two hours to me. The music worked really well too with all of the scenes and most of the characters are pretty out to lunch, mostly due to the script though. The 18th When I was a kid, probably around the grade 3 or 4 age, I went with my friends to catch tadpoles. At least, I assume that was the purpose of the outing unless we just decided to catch some during our adventures. We were running around on the railroad tracks behind our school which had huge ditches on either side filled with water. I remember it being a really nice summer day and we came across a spot just teeming with little, black tadpoles. I'm guessing my plan was to catch a bunch and bring them home and raise them into froghood. Who knows what I would have done with them at that point even though I know they all would have died even under the best of circumstances. And the circumstances, as they were at that point, were not very good at all. To scoop up and transport the tadpoles from their birthing shallows to my bedroom I had a bread bag, a bread bag with a tiny hole in it. Undaunted, I filled up the bag and captured some of the tadpoles and hurried as fast as my little legs could safely carry me and my slimy spoils back to my house several blocks away. A thin spout of water left a black trail on the hot pavement as I went. If I remember correcly, I managed to make it home with at least some of the tadpoles still alive. They were promptly transferred to an empty ice cream container filled with water. I'm sure the cool tap water was exactly the right environment to raise the little swimmers in too. What I did after that really goes to show the unique thought process of a kid who wants to make sure that his new amphibious pets didn't go hungry. As if the plastic tadpole aquarium were a big bowl of clam chowder, I crumbled Premium Plus saltines into the water and wished my soon to be dead buddies a bon appétit. The salty, starchy mess turned to glop and that was the end of my pet tadpoles. Why I thought crackers would keep them alive and well is beyond me. The 17th I was listening to a show on CBC recently and the topic was a novel about conjoined twin girls. They talked about some of the recent twins to be born and make the headlines and more famous ones like Chang and Eng. They went on to say that Chang and Eng were both married and had 22 kids between the two of them. To me it seems like it would be just a tad strange to live your life connected to someone else. I know twins share a certain bond and there would definitely be a special relationship they would be born into and adapt to over time. But the idea of having no privacy and especially keeping that baby mill C&E had going is something I find very, very strange. The author explained how she found in her research that conjoined twins deal with this problem by zoning out in a way. One could spend their time painting or doing something "individual" and the twin simply goes into this other state of consciousnous where they aren't really aware of what the other is doing. I found that to be even more strange in a way but I guess the mind is capable of doing things way more bizarre than that. It's interesting to think about how the brain adapts or changes so that people can deal with rare circumstances like that or even in cases of multiple personality disorder or other dissociative disorders to handle traumatic experiences. Being conjoined in a more convenient place like the side is one thing, but being connected by the top of your head is another. I can see how twins like Chang and Eng could get through life and live with some sort of normalcy and be happy but to see children like the Egyptian twins born a couple of years ago really makes you wonder if it would be worth living being attached to your sibling by the top of the head. The 16th The last week has been pretty terrible for the most part. Friday night I went out to eat at Minh Wang against my better judgement and have been regretting it until today. I avoided the buffet which was actually pretty easy once I took a look at the bland, steaming spread under the heat lamps. I ordered the honey chili chicken instead and it was actually really tasty, onions aside. I was pretty satisfied with my order but by the time I got home I could tell something wasn't quite right. I didn't pay any attention to it though and drove out to pick up Melissa then went to The 5 Lanes in Kensington. Jill and Crystal met us there so they could all enjoy a fun-filled night of karaoke. I actually did have a pretty good time though. Me and Jill just chatted some, took pictures and video of Crystal and Melissa singing and I also got this weirdo on tape too along with the famous Energizer Bunny. The guy showed up earlier in the evening when I was out getting a chocolate bar. The gals were gathered around the MegaTouch game and this guy just squeezed right up next to them and kept staring over their shoulders at the screen completely oblivious to their personal space and the fact that it wasn't his turn to play. This guy ended up being a complete weirdo afterwards too which was expected seeing how weird he was to begin with. He'd get up to "sing" but it was more like off-tempo, barely singing, retarded lyric recitation. When he wasn't singing he'd hear a song he liked, tear off his jacket, run up to the dance floor like a madman and start with this bouncy, mildly flailing dance that was filled with highs of energy and lows of depression. It honestly was very strange. As for my chocolate bar excursion, it ended with me buying a new Yogurt Coffee Crisp bar. Just thinking about it makes me ill. I'm seriously getting a puke feeling in my stomach and throat just thinking about it. Don't get one of these bars, they are gross. Back in the bar, the Energizer Bunny was doing her strange dancing and then got up to do a song. Her nickname came from the gals at one point but I forget how they came up with it. They tell me it was actually the best song she ever sang and if that's the case I'd hate to hear her on a bad night. She put, what I can only describe as, sheep vibrato on her voice which itself was cartoonish and nasally to begin with. It was absolutely horrible. She was even making up her own notes and tempo to boot. Back to the Special Plate #8 festering in my guts. Well, that HAD been festering in my guts. I believe sometime between the hours of 11pm and 12am I lost several pounds in The 5 Lanes washroom on a couple of occasions. Needless to say, I was not impressed with my situation. I didn't feel the least bit sick but there was a Pompeii-like disaster happening down south the kind I had never witnessed before in my entire life. This continued on until the following Wednesday. I spent a lot of time on the couch watching massive amounts of Letterman and Conan while massive amounts of honey chili magma violently created a new landscape in the porcelain basin. I didn't even know where it was coming from because I even went 24 hours without a bite of food. I was so run down by the runs that I didn't have much energy to do much of anything unless it involved sitting or lying down and not concentrating on much. I felt fine for the most part except for the headaches and lack of energy due to lack of food. I went to the health clinic at one point just to make sure I didn't have ebola or something but they just told me it seemed like I was getting better. A relative term. Probably E. coli poisoning. Last night at trivia I was going to have a glass of water and leave it at that. Suddenly Griffen races up to me and says she has a surprise for me. She returns with a cup of coffee and a slice of coconut cream pie, on the house. I hadn't eaten all day and I thought I was still sick but I couldn't refuse. They never have coconut cream pie but the night I show up with a virus eating away at my guts is the night they give it to me for free. The moral of this story: don't eat the honey chili chicken at Minh Wang. In fact, just streer clear of that place anyway. That's my plan for the future. The 8th Trivia didn't go so well tonight. I went with Melissa, Jill, Crystal and Christina and we didn't do too badly but we didn't even clinch third place. Oh well, there's always next week. Jill invited me and Melissa back to her place to hang out for a bit. I got to see her iMac and I'm jealous. She gave me a homemade Magic Bag that exactly matches the pyjama pants that Melissa made for me. I don't usually accessorize but I'll make an exception this time. For years I've been using Outlook Express and I have yet to make the switch over to Apple Mail. I'm just so used to Outlook and it does everything I want it to so I just don't see why I should bother switching. I don't think the version of Mail I have now comes close to being as functional. Outlook also has sound sets which I used to be obsessed with and still use. Usually they're ok and not too annoying but I'm just getting tired of them because it's been the same batch for the last 7 years or more. So the other day I picked one I've never used, or not since I first opened the program. It turns out that the default Microsoft sound set is the most pleasing of the dozens I have but who knows when I'll get bored of it. I wonder, though, who designed the sound set. I know Brian Eno did the startup sound for Windows and probably a lot of the system sounds too. That was a pretty pointless ramble but I don't care because I like the watery harp sound I get when new email drops into my inbox. The 7th I went to Charlottetown today with Melissa for something to do. I got my Asian food fix by buying some sauces and dim sum at The Asian Food Store and then stuffing myself full at The Formosa Tea House. I wish we had a place like that here in town. The dumplings were extra good today because there were crispy parts on the dough. Ryan Recommends™. I hate getting cabin fever. I was restless as hell tonight so I went up to the mall just so I could walk around in a warm place and listen to my iPod. I talked to Laine for a bit before she got off work and then walked around Zellers while the dry, recycled mall air robbed my eyes of any moisture they once had. It's pretty sad that I can't go outside in the cold wind or even in a mall because my eyes go crispy either way. I'm going to be so broken and disabled when I'm forty. The 6th I sat at Dooly's with Melissa playing these touch screen video games for quite some time and oddly didn't get bored with it. Nothing says entertainment like trying to find the 5 differences between a pair of photos of horribly cheesy, 80s nude "babes" or greased up "hunks". One of the guys was making breakfast in the buff. What the hell is that about? One of the women looked like a grandmother with a young woman's skin pulled over her whole body. Jill showed up and hung out for a bit with us but the charm and atmosphere of Dooly's eventually faded and we left. With the evening coming to a close, Melissa decided to crash on the couch and we watched The Holy Grail. That is such a classic movie and I wish I could have seen it in the theatre. The 5th Tyler and Melissa invited a bunch of us over to their new place today for brunch. Massive amounts of food were had. Even the bowl of soup I had later for supper made me feel ill because for some reason I was still really full but decided to eat anyway. We hung around for a bit and played Frustration with Jade and then we all had a game of Monopoly. D'anyil was really sick with the flu so I felt pretty bad for him but I don't understand how little kids go from crazy energetic to completely ill and then back to normal in the span of 5 hours. Dave and Neil came over to the house later to shoot some more fucked up scenes for the movie. I swear this is going to be one of the weirdest things I've ever seen once it's done. Melissa Morse got home from Ottawa today and she stopped by with Jill and Crystal to go and try to find something to do…on a Sunday night at 11pm. Needless to say, nothing was open so we ended up at Tim's eating cookies. It didn't offer us quite enough excitement though so we moved on. We decided to go to Crystal's and J.P. joined us for a game of Cranium. I like Cranium except for humming tunes and acting things out. I also discovered how terrible I am at drawing now and how completely I blank out when trying to come up with ways to solve the puzzles. I'm sure glad those 10 years of art lessons, 2 years of graphic design and 7 years as a graphic designer are paying off in Cranium. The 2nd The Ted Ferguson Bud Light Daredevil commercials are NOT funny. I just bet there is a segment of people out there who watch them and laugh raucously and high five each other because they can identify with how difficult it is to sit and listen to one's girlfriend for a whole two minutes, or stay two minutes past 5 o'clock at the office on a Friday. People may say, "Dude! You're just a bitter loser because you don't have a girlfriend or a job!" To that I say, "While I may be bitter, single and unemployed, I don't dislike the commercials because I can't identify with them, I don't enjoy them because they are LAME. Besides, if you find those commercials more than mildly amusing I don't even want to look at you, let alone have an argument about them with you. Now piss off and go stick some pens up your asses." The 1st I think maybe CBC is reading my ramblings because they've made some more changes to the news chime or whatever it's called. They still have the new little jingle that I think sounds fake and wimpy but then they put the old one back in sort of after it. It makes no sense. Now it just seems all over the place, like a 9 year-old's sense of comedic timing. I wish they'd just stick with something, you know, like the theme that I like best. I started watching my old dubs of Millennium sometime last year and when I got the last episode I set it aside because I didn't want the series to be over again. Finally, I decided tonight it was time to watch it and get it over with. The series had fairly good final episodes but as an ending for the series it sucked. It was such a let down. After it was over I felt the same way I did years ago when I knew Frank Black would never be back. Disappointed, sort of sad in a way, and otherwise upset that they let the series end like it did. Thankfully, they brought him back in an episode of The X-Files to wrap things up nice and tidy. Uh, no. The episode was lame and it made no sense whatsoever as far as concluding Millennium as a series was concerned. I'm not going to go into how crossing over the show universes would cause an implosion of TV time and space. Yours truly, TV Nerd.